Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

whenever my program freezes

starting a collection

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

im letting the days go by and i dont even have a beautiful house or a beautiful wife

hire me for just whatever

[fills out a job application] i can do whatever and am good at anything, my biggest weakness is i love too much

you can always tell when a ship exists solely because they were the only two remaining characters left and the ship always sucks

some of you have got to get braver in my tags

ALT

im dying

I love it when completely normal men get in a relationship with incredibly strange women and try their best to understand them and to indulge them even tho they’re utterly confused.

"he would not fucking say that" has a younger sibling called "i don't know what he WOULD say but whatever it is its not THAT"